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Saying Goodbye, observations on job loss.

Submitted by on August 31, 2009 – 10:57 amNo Comment

Loss, however it comes, job,house move,hopes and dreams, bring up similar feelings.It’s a strange time for me at the moment with one daughter back here on holiday from New Zealand. Her arrival means joy and sadness all arrive together with her when she touches down at Heathrow and collects the emotional baggage with her luggage.

Because I also look at the metaphysical as well as the ‘concrete’ reality – I have been spending time reflecting on the passion of my emotions. I consulted a therapist friend, who is also a Buddhist, about non attachment and letting go, what it means and how to achieve it. I felt I have been clinging to a childhood and a family life which is now long gone , will never return no matter how much I pine, staying accessible only in the album of memories.

A different pathway is emerging and a new wisdom forming. I am finding a new self.shutterstock_35660812

I have come to the conclusion that my old role of mother is now finished, my own mother and father have died and rather like a redundancy there is a grief for what has gone and anger for what is not within my control.

When you lose a job, you are having to say goodbye to your old structure, your colleagues, even the ones you didn’t like you will miss, the rubbishy water cooler which doesn’t work and the sludgy coffee, tepid and grey. The mornings when you longed not to get up are replaced by too many days to fill,your sense of purpose is lost and all confused.

Take heart, this is all part of the process of grieving. 

I talk about the stages of grief in the Change module of the Job Search Programme because the feelings which arise are natural and normal – unless they are so overwhelming that you cannot function in your daily life – and then you need to see your G.P.  In the modern world we seem to be uncomfortable with grief, we try to distract ourselves or medicate ourselves or find an outlet for blame or anger. Mourning is necessary, grief is natural, rather like the falling leaves of the autumn are part of the process of nourishing the soil for the new growth in spring.

If you have many changes at once, you will feel off balance, so try to find something in your life which can provide you with a constant. This may be meditation, yoga, walking or maybe painting. Outlets which allow you to be with yourself , reflective but centred. In this way you will find that your own new shoots emerge, ideas will surface and confidence increases. Take better care of yourself,it pays dividends, you will revitalise faster.

Like myself right now,you can start to say goodbye to the old patterns and welcome the new opportunities, you can take time to be there for yourself and not everyone else all of the time. You can get balance,  give and receive, breathe in and out, be with people, be alone,be sad, be happy, angry or peaceful.

When your mourning is over, you can put energy back into your life, don’t rush, like the seasons, summer follows winter and all will be well.

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