I have been researching the psychology of relationships recently and as a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist I am always interested in othe peoples observations on the same subject.

I am currently re-reading Becoming a Person of Influence – by Jim Dornan and John C.Maxwell. I think their chapter on self centredness helps to understand the shift in consciousness which is needed to take our world on to its next stage of evolution/development.

The following paragraphs are some modified excerpts from the chapter ‘Understands People’. They write ‘ When fear isn’t a stumbling block to understanding, self centerdness often is. Someone remarked ‘there are two sides to every question – as long as it doesn’t concern us personally’.

That’s the way too many people think. Everyone is not self centred on purpose;its just in the nature of people to think of their interests first – you can see that in a two year old!

One way to overcome our natural self centredness is to try to see things from other people’s perspectives.

Art Mortell shared this experience. Whenever I am losing at chess, I consistently get up and stand behind my opponent and see the board from his side. Then I start to discover the stupid moves I’ve made because I can see it from his viewpoint. This is the salesman’s challenge and the challenge for everyone of us, to see the world in the others eyes.

The least important word:I
The most important word:we
The two most important words:Thank you
The three most important words:All is forgiven.
The four most important words:What is your opinion
The five most important words: You did a good job
The six most important words: I want to understand you better.

From A Short Course in Human Relations.

More on this tomorrow