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Is your thinking your own or just a familiar habit?

Submitted by on August 14, 2009 – 11:03 amNo Comment

When I start working with clients who want to change their lives and, particularly, their career,the hardest challenge is their view of themselves and the image or reflection they have evolved in response to the comments or beliefs of others about who they are.

The following excerpt is from a book called Habit Busting, by Pete Cohen. Worth buying to read on your holidays or asking for at Christmas prior to the New Year Resolution build up.!

‘Being aware of how we think about our habits helps us to change them. By substituting the thought of the immediate pleasure we gain from them with the longer term pain this will mean we can start wanting to stop’.

Our habitual thoughts are exactly that. We have thought them over and over again until they seem to us like ‘fact’. This is where relationship problems come in, we all have our own habit of thinking and for some reason imagine we are right and the other person wrong, instead of just different.

Its like trying to compare a rose with a potato. They are both plants and ‘right’ in their own form. It doesn’t make the other one a ‘wrong’ plant.

Anyway, some of your thoughts you will have copied from your family or peers and kept them in order to fit in at the time. It doesn’t make them useful to you now.

This means living in the present moment and paying heed to the kind of actions which you need to put into play to bring about your end result. So you need to be paying attention to your thinking, which is where the profile in the packages delivers you easy to understand results andshutterstock_35322133 why the reflective process before you start to job hunt is so important.

Do you know whether you are following someone elses beliefs or your own.

If your family are pressuring you into their chosen career view but you know you want to pursue another goal, then your mission will be to get fact finding.

If you don’t write the script for your own life, someone else will write it for you. Now that may be fine for you so that you can opt out of responsibility and make it someone else’s fault. This will only mean you stay unhappy and dissatisfied which is not what I would want for you.

So, lets get rising to the challenge and get you thinking about your first step.

Give yourself one hour to start in peace and quiet – maybe some gentle music – not rock as you will want to move about.

You will need:

Notebook and pen.

Note down when you:( I have given some ordinary examples to help you)

Were praised last and what for.(Don’t be shy!)

Gave all your energy to a project.
(Could be bringing up baby)

Learnt something new.
(Driving is a good example)

Were proud of something you achieved.
(Maybe decorating your house)

Keep going till you have a long list – aim for 30 and you can take up to 7 days to get them all together.

When you have them all – choose five of which you are most proud and transfer them to a piece of flip chart paper and put up on the wall in your study, or somewhere you can see them easily.

Read them every morning before you start the day.
You are now starting to build confidence and concentrate on your achievements leading to more positive ways of thinking.

In the unlikely event that you cannot think of anything you are proud of but it is always possible, it would be a good idea to visit your G.P. for a health check or a counsellor to talk things through to rule out depression.

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