If you are starting out trying to change your life, then I would recommend this very practical and straightforward book, Habit Busting by Pete Cohen.

Before you can change anything, self understanding will show you how you will have habits of thinking, feeling and behaviour which cause you to wander through life in a semi conscious fashion even though you think you are autonomous. Its as if life has hypnotised you and you are now in a trance like state.

So, now is a chance for you to awaken .

Here is an excerpt from the book.
‘Your body follows what your mind tells it to do. How many of your everyday thoughts are new and how many are the old ones you have been carrying around for as long as you can remember? Everytime you repeat a thought, you reinforce its power;the circuit or pathway along which you think gets stronger(Think about exercise, the more you exercise a muscle the bigger and stronger it gets),leaving less room for new and empowering,creative,ideas

Now think about what you take in during an average day. If you mix with people who are depressed or talk constantly about their problems, there is a strong chance that your feelings will mirror theirs.

On the other hand, if you mingle with happy, joyful people who are successful and talk enthusiatically about their plans for the future, you will feel very differently about yourself or the world in general.

The Buddhist Tale.

Desperate to meet his guru, a Buddhist follower climbs a series of mountains and walks for many days overland until at last he comes face to face with the man who has inspired his beliefs. As soon as he arrives the follower starts talking about himself and his life almost without stopping, until the guru intercedes to offer him a cup of tea. Somewhat taken aback at having been interrupted, the follower nevertheless accepts.

As he resumes his dialogue, the guru begins to pour the tea and carries on pouring until the cup is overflowing and tea is pouring off the table and on to the follower’s legs.

“What are you doing?he asks, as the hot water burns his knees.

“Can you not see that you are just like the tea cup? says the guru. “You are so full of the things you think you need, there is no room for anything else”‘

So remember, you were not born with a particular way of thinking, you have learnt it. Your self esteem was fine when you were born its your repetitive thought pattern which produces the same old feelings and the same old outcome.

To be successful in what you want you have to think differently, speak differently and then feel differently.

If you want to stay focussed on a solution, you will need to know what thinking habits are likely to sabotage your behaviour.

So today, just begin to notice what you are thinking over and over again. In this you will find your first habit and are on the road to freedom.

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